you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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