Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
