i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
