Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
