WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
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