so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
