there's paper in my vomit.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I just want to make out with him forever
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize