I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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