Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
