I have demons in me.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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