What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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