I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Its about making memories worth repressing
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Randomize
