for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
