Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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