Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
