I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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