I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Buhtt sex?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
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I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
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No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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