We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
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I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
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Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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