make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
