You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Randomize
