Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
My vagina is very pro this idea
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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