I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
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guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
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My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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