But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
