What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
