Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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