I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
