Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
there's paper in my vomit.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
i out mim tonsoeep
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