Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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