If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
