ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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