Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize
