I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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