I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
