You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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