You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
