Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
