You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
