I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
