whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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