your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
