like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
