Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
