it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
