This dress was meant to end up on your floor
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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