i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
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