The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
