it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
