we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
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Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
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Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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