i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize
