so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
