Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize
