i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
