During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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