bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize