Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
