she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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