You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
